Beginnings

I used to think on Mary only around Christmas time. To be sure, when it comes to the arrival of our Lord on earth, she is impossible to ignore. But I have thought of her lately for other reasons altogether.

I suppose it's only natural I should think of Mary as I've undertaken my study of the Catholic faith. Even before I began to understand what her special significance was in the Catholic church, I began to look to her example.

And then I let my imagination do a little wandering.

Nothing is said of how the community around her responded to her pregnancy. Imagine if you will a teenage girl, a betrothed virgin, belly swelling with pregnancy. Oh sure, some would say. An angelic visitor? The Son of God? Pshaw! Did some think her the ancient middle-eastern equivalent of Hester Prynne, an adulterous woman unwilling to call out the true father of the child within her?

What did the neighbors think? What were the temple priests saying? People would be incredulous, naturally. They were expecting a political hero, a conquering king for a Messiah. Not a squealing infant. Who besides Elizabeth and Zechariah, I wonder, believed the story of her angelic visitation?

Imagine the secret whispers, the sideways glances of those around her. Imagine the consequences a woman believed guilty of adultery would face. And still she was able to say, my soul doth magnify the LORD (Luke 1:46). I imagine she knew the manifold social and religious implications her mysterious pregnancy held. I imagine she came to know only too well the cost of obedience.

While I may in no way compare myself to the Blessed Mother, I look to her as an example. Though the text is not explicit, I have to believe that her obedience cost her more than we know. When the story of the Immaculate Conception circulated, I can only hypothesize as to what people thought of her, what they whispered about her as she walked past them. I imagine some thought her a liar, or just plain crazy, concocting stories of angelic visitations and the whole Holy-Spirit-coming-upon-you and power-of-the-Most-High-overshadowing-you thing (Luke 1:35). I imagine some were compelled to collect stones.

But she remained obedient in spite of what was likely a prevailing sense of disbelief and outright obstinacy that God would choose such humble and entirely unexpected means to redeem His people.

So I endeavor to adopt the same attitude here, if even in its smallest portion. I know some will think I've gone off the deep end. I know not everyone will approve or understand. But obedience comes with a cost; that much is promised us. And so I find myself compelled by the truth God has revealed, pulled to a new place in my journey of faith. I certainly did not expect it.

But isn't it just like God to do that?

[if you're just getting started, click here, here, and here to see where the journey began ...]

Rules of the Playground

The way this blog is going to function is going to be different than most if that wasn't already evident from the statements on the sidebar describing "What This Blog Is" and "What This Blog Is Not".

I want to be very clear about the boundaries of this space so you can decide if this is a place you want to visit, or not.


Rule #1: No Comments

I have disabled the comments feature on this blog, the reason being that the primary purpose of having this blog is for me to externalize my thought process (part of my extroverted tendencies, what can I say?). Why not just do this in a Word document? Well, I suppose I could. My reason for doing it in the blogosphere is twofold:

1. Accountability for me to sort through and organize my own thoughts. As a writer and as an extrovert, there is immense value for me in putting my thoughts & reflections into writing. Putting them in a "public" space (whether or not anyone besides me reads them) creates accountability for me to accomplish this. It will be a way for me to map this journey, set up markers of remembrance along the way, and to have a clear and concise testimony as to what God was and is up to where my path of faith is concerned.
2. Some have asked to be guided through my learning & thought process while I'm on this journey. Honestly, this reason is not as important for me as the first and I must be utterly clear on this point: I invite others to view this on the sole condition that this blog be restricted to my thoughts alone. If genuinely interested, you are welcome to be privy to my reflections as they are expressed here. But without exception, I am disallowing comments in this space.

**When it comes right down to it, restricting readers from commenting is all about guarding my heart. This is something I've learned the hard way. I really need to externalize this journey somehow, but because this is both something precious and something in its infancy, I am bound to protect it; I must be vigilant about guarding the wellspring of life within me.**

Rule #2: You don't have to read it if you don't want to

As previously stated, one of the reasons I'm putting this out there so that those who are genuinely interested may follow along. It's quite simple, really: if you don't like what I'm saying, how I'm saying it, or that you cannot comment, you are also welcome not to read. And I am totally okay with that! Even if I'm the only one who looks at this blog, there is still value for me in keeping it.

Rule #3: A note on "personal thoughts and reflections"

Please keep in mind that this is not a place where I am attempting to sway or otherwise alter anyone's own beliefs and convictions; it is a place to share where my own patterns of thought, conviction, belief, and practice of faith are shifting and changing as a result of what I am learning and observing. As a result, you can expect there will be references to external sources. My own thoughts and reflections should not be mistaken for the sources referenced or for any dogma or other declarative statement of the Catholic faith.

All that being said, thanks for joining me on my journey of faith! I hope you are blessed.