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Many of us are in a place these days where we walk a dark, mysterious road. We know God brought us there, we know He's with us there. But we don't want to be there because it's dark and we're not the ones directing our own paths.
God is raising things to the surface in me that I really don't want to confront. It's going to hurt, it's going to require releasing some things I've wrapped myself around tightly for the last several years.
It's easy to want to shake my fist at Him, to envy Him in His heaven, fancying Him far removed from this all-too-real and painful path.
And then I remember ... He gets it. He's been there too. He's shared in our earthly existence, He's felt what it feels like to be us. He's felt what it's like to want another, less painful way only to find that the path of obedience is a painful and sacrificing one.
This song is one of the last ever recorded by Rich Mullins; Rich was killed in a car accident in September 1997 shortly after this crummy cassette-tape recording was made. But I prefer this version over the studio version by his band; there's something so raw and imperfect about it; unpolished and real. Kind of like me; kind of like all of us.
Something that reminds me ... He gets it.
See the lyrics to "Hard to Get" here.
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6 comments:
you really got me with the line about feeling what it's like to want another, less painful way, only to find the path of obedience is a painful and sacrificing one. this is so true, and it brings comfort when God is asking us to die to ourselves in ways that we know will hurt and ask something of us we so desperately want to hold onto. i'm right there now, too.
so sorry you have to face this pain as part of your journey right now. even though we can tell ourselves "the pain is good, it's for good purposes, because his purposes are always good," that just doesn't compute when we face the reality of taking those steps only we can take to get there. bleh, huh?
thanks for sharing the rich mullins song. i remember his passing when we were at biola, but i had never been introduced to his music, just knew his name. the song's got an earthy feel to it. it sounds like it's being sung by someone who truly knows.
it really does help when i remember those words Jesus spoke in the garden...how he really didn't want to go where he was going, but that he was willing anyway. i think that makes all the difference, having a God who gets it...not just in a head-knowing but in a heart-knowing, experiencing way.
I loved what you said about liking this recording better than the more polished ones because it's more like each of us. I'm remembering again that life is not about finally getting polished, but is actually about continually walking in our roughness, our unfinished-ness, and being willing to walk there even when we want to be anywhere else. I'll never arrive. I'll grow and change and be formed, but I'll never be "there." It would be easier if I could, I think, but I wonder if the fact that I can't is proof that I'm not made for this world.
I've never heard this song before, I don't think. Dave loves Rich Mullins and I like a few of his songs, but I guess we don't have this one around ;) Thanks!
christianne - i always think about Jesus, & how much he wanted that cup to pass from him. i keep thinking about those of us in this place too, wanting these cups to pass from us. but the only way out is through.
and as you say, even if we know it's for a good purpose, it doesn't make it any easier to embrace.
and i agree, there's a very earthy & organic feel to the song. sung by someone who has been there; who has been through pain and met Jesus there.
terri - i totally agree. every time i get in that fist-shaking disposition, i remember that Jesus faced that too, met it head on in a very flesh-and-blood sort of way.
and incidentally, rich mullins is one of the few Christian artists i can listen to; he's not copying anyone & it becomes terribly obvious the man wrote with sincerity & passion, from a place of deep knowing: God, life, faith, trusting in the dark. leaning into mystery.
sarah - that is so, so right about being polished. he doesn't expect us to be perfect; he uses us as we are so it will be obvious the power moving through us comes TOTALLY from him & not from us. i love that about God; he chooses to need us & to use us to carry out His plan ... so many other ways he could have done it.
and this song is on "The Jesus Record"; there's a CD of rich's demos & then a second CD of studio recordings of the songs. it's a must-have for any rich fan! ;o)
Kirsten
my stupid computer or downloads or whatever would not let me blog and i was already feeling withdrawals. Sad to leave church, or prayer and start cussing. That is just WRONG. But i have found that cussing at times is necessary. And the book of Ecclesiastes says for all things there is a season. So i have concluded in my brightly enlightened mind that there is a time to cuss and a time to refrain from cussing.........hmmmm and to think i come up with that one with- out God's help at all.
You stole my heart here with Rich Mullins, he was just raw. That song you have here, used to stay on repeat on my CD player. There is one line there that says blood keeps running in my sweat. I like that line. Although i have never felt the anguish that Christ felt, still i relate with that line. Suffering and sorrow will cut through the heart until you bleed.
Kirsten I am with you in your suffering. I don't mean that in the context of i am suffering too. I meant that i am walking down that road beside you. Actually better than that i can see Jesus Himself reach out His hand and embrace yours and walk with you down that road. I can see the back of His robe and his dusty sandals.
Loving you
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